I was shocked to read President Trump’s “tweet” this am that he has fired every single member of congress! Then on FOX News Paul Ryan, speaking for the members of both houses, said, “The legality of this remains to be seen, but you can’t say we didn’t ask for it. We have all focused exclusively on maintaining our own positions, power, and wealth and should have, at least once, considered representing the American people.”

As if that were not enough, the firings set off a chain of shocking departmental revelations. The IRS declared that it is reducing the federal tax code from 2,300 pages to only one. Said Commissioner David Kautter,  “This is long overdue. You may have read, in fact, that the entire federal income tax was to have been only temporary. This is the least we can do.”

Equally shocking was the announcement by the Treasury Department that the nation’s money supply will revert to the mandate of the U.S. Constitution that it consist of silver and gold, and the new Federal Reserve Notes will specify such. The new notes will no longer be green, but red as planned by President John Kennedy before he was assassinated.

Secretary Betsy DeVos of the Department of Education surprised many when she stated, “We are inviting God back into our schools. The morals of our children were much better when they learned to read from Reverend John McGuffey’s Readers, and when our government and God were partners.”

Perhaps most shocking of all was the revelation by Tom Subak, director for strategy for Planned Parenthood, that it will henceforth actually support parenthood, and instead of using federal funds to kill unwanted babies will use the funds to build orphanages across the land and encourage the adoption of these children. “We at Planned Parenthood have had just about all we can stomach of our past policies, and this new direction will be like a breath of fresh air”, he said. ” It should provide a chilling effect on anyone’s future abortion plans.”

Michael Taylor, the FDA “food czar”, said today, “We should have listened to the pleas of our own scientists that GMO foods would likely be dangerous and cause many chronic diseases. My past position as a Monsanto attorney blinded me to the threats to the health of Americans, and I was diverted by the anticipated windfall profits to be made by my pharmaceutical friends.”

A similar confession of the greed motive was expressed by Dr. Nancy Bennett, Chair of the CDC Advisory Committee for Immunization Practices  panel. She stated, “We have gotten the horse before the cart. While our pharmaceutical partners have realized billions of dollars in profits from sales of required vaccines, we have never carried out long-term testing of the vaccines, and certainly not of the effects on our children’s health from the many combined vaccines, and especially from the vaccines’ inclusion of the many known toxins. We are placing a hold on the 200 some new vaccines in the pipeline.”

The CIA joined in by promising to end its practice of toppling elected foreign governments. Director Gina Haspel added, “We have also decided to curtail our mission of flying illegal drugs into the country, and to stick to intelligence issues.”

There has been much speculation over the targets of President Trump’s 9,000 sealed indictments. It is now revealed that the very first one is to be served against Barack Obama for treason. He will be placed into the Illinois State Prison system where he is expected  to function as a prison system “community organizer”.

The next two are to be served on Bill and Hillary Clinton for their many illegal operations, and they will be incarcerated in the newly re-opened Alcatraz prison in San Francisco Bay. Said the President, “San Francisco will no longer be a ‘sanctuary city’, but will be a sanctuary for the Clintons. They will be housed at opposite ends of the buildings, and the constant flow of visitors is expected to provide a boom to the area’s tourism industry.”

The Department of Defense will now be known as the Department of War. Troops will no longer be guarding the Afghanistan poppy fields and are on the way home to help secure the southern border pending completion of Trump’s new Wall.

Agents of the Border Patrol and ICE were caught off guard by today’s sudden mass exodus of illegals across the border into Mexico. Said Raul Mendez, one of those headed south, “If we had known the level of corruption in the U.S. we would have stayed at home in the first place.”

It has been a day unlike any  in American history. And how fitting that it should all happen on the first day of April!

Relax,

Dr. J